Tragic deaths of two sons in seven months highlights little-known link between autism and higher suicide risk

A Bunbury mother is enduring the unimaginable heartache of losing two sons to suicide in the space of seven months. But in the depths of her devastation, Michelle — who asked that her surname not be published — wants to highlight the alarming link between autism and increased suicide risk in a bid to stop other families experiencing the same grief. Her eldest son, Xavier Dyer, took his own life in October at the age of 21. He died just months after the suicide of his 14-year-old brother Jye triggered an outpouring of grief in the South West community in March. Both Xavier and Jye had been diagnosed with autism. And their shattered mother is terrified that her seven-year-old son, who is also autistic, could be at risk too. “I really just want to raise awareness that people with autism are so high risk for suicide — which I didn’t know,” she said. “Even after losing one I didn’t see the link to autism until after I lost my other autistic child.” On a spring morning in October Xavier set off as usual for his weekend shift at the Harvey Fresh factory, but never came home. He often went to visit friends after work so Michelle didn’t start to worry until after midnight, when she reported him missing. Police found him deceased the next day. As well as losing his younger brother, Xavier had also lost a friend from his online gaming community two weeks before he took his own life. “And he just didn’t talk about emotion, or express emotions at all,” Michelle said. “There were no signs.” “I just really need parents to be aware of the higher risk if their children don’t show emotions and they don’t show how they’re feeling generally, so depression looks the same.” Michelle, who teaches kids with special needs, said Xavier was unable to receive support from the NDIS because he was considered too high-functioning. In a Gofundme post to raise money for his funeral last month, Michelle said Xavier brought meaning to her life from the day he was born. “Such a shock to lose you this way, so out of the blue with zero indicators that you wanted to leave us,” she wrote. “I wish you didn’t have to go. I love you forever and always, forever proud of your determination to achieve what you had with autism.” Internationally renowned autism and suicide prevention expert Darren Hedley, from Melbourne’s La Trobe University, said recent research suggested autistic people have up to a five-fold increased risk of dying by suicide compared with the general population. But many mental health professionals either did not recognise — or did not feel confident to work with — people with an autism diagnosis. “So it’s hard for autistic people to get the services they need,” Associate Professor Hedley said. And a lack of quality screening assessments meant some suicidal people with autism were either not identified, or were not believed. “It’s an absolute tragedy,” he said. “I know a lot of people who have lost their kids and I think we are absolutely failing this population.” As well as working to develop new assessment tools for health professionals, Associate Professor Hedley and his team devised the Suicide Response Project, a website to help people support individuals at risk which includes specific advice about neurodivergent people. Risk factors include whether they had been bullied, felt alienated or were exhausted from trying to mask autistic traits. Warning signs to watch for could include a complete communication shutdown, aggression, self-harming behaviour or increasing consumption of media about death and suicide. Telethon Kids Institute autism and mental health researcher Gail Alvares said the higher risk of suicide in the autistic population was a “huge concern”, particularly for WA where many young people in rural communities were already struggling to access skilled health care. “It’s the leading cause of death in autistic people who don’t have an intellectual disability,” she said. “So it’s a really alarming crisis that we’re currently in. “It’s really tragic for that family that they have lost both of their children. But it’s very powerful for the mum to be able to speak out about this, and hopefully it’s a call for the WA Mental Health Commission and policy makers to really put specific funding around this area. “There is a divide between what disability services will support and what mental health will support, and this is the clear gap that autistic people are sitting in.” Lifeline 13 11 14 Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636